Climbing higher

Revelation 4:1
"Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this."

God shows me how He works in each and every life in a different way including mine. I still remember I prayed to Him to show me where He wants me to go after stepping down as PKV committee last year. I thought that my next place would be more in serving in church. Instead, He gave me a chance to continue to involve in PKV activity that is the recent Easter celebration that was held last 2 weeks.

Indeed, His ways are higher and only He will know what is best to us. I thought that He will use me to help others to plan this event as I'm a senior among them. Things turn up different from what I thought. I thank God for His ways of letting me grow in Him and humbling myself as what he wants me to learn.

I thought that I'm a patient girl while he proves me wrong. I thought that I have great faith in Him but He shows me how little faith I have in His eyes. He shows me how weak I am, far from His standard. How unprayerful I am, how tiny I am that I cannot stand in His presence but to hide in a corner far from him and humble myself, to submit and forget myself.

Despite the revealing of my weaknesses, God does not leave me alone. The purpose of revealing does not stop at the point of me discovering all these and feel humiliated but the purpose is to bring me back to Him and ask me to rely on Him, his strength rather than to depend on myself.

Words cannot express what I've really gone through, how i feel and how God is working in me now. Only God knows, only I can feel it personally. I thank God for his love that he shows to me despite of my imperfect being. I thank God that he does not abandon me but let me see how weak I am and how impossible for me to do all things using my own understanding and strength.

I may not fully understand His way, the depth of His love, surely I won't be able to understand all. Yet, I have to trust Him that He know the best because my life comes from Him and I belong to him. Though hard times may continue to come my way, the joy that he gives me will help me to go through it and make me more like Him day by day.