Be still, my soul

Be still, my soul, be still, my soul
Cease from the labour and the toil
Refreshing springs of peace await
To troubled minds and hearts that ache
Be still, my soul-God knows your way
And he will guide for his name's sake
Plunge in the river of his grace
Rest in the arms of his embrace

Be still, my soul, be still, my soul
Though battles 'round you rage and roar
One thing you need and nothing more
To hear the whisper of you Lord:
"Be still, my child - I know your way
And I will guide for my name's sake
Plunge in the rivers of my grace
Rest in the arms of my embrace"

May I learn how to depend on Him in my daily life....

Time of transition

1 more month ..I'm leaving kl back to Ipoh, leave my 2 years staying together with a bunch of friends.. I start to miss them...I start to wonder when will I see them again while each of us are separating to pursue our own dreams. I still remember the time we discussed to stay under one roof as long as we are still in kl, but things will change. It sounds so easy to say goodbye but indeed doing it is thousands harder than I expected. But I should learn to let go, time will help me to be used to the upcoming new environment. It was just like yesterday that we moved in into K7B..time passes so fast. Hope they too understand the hard feelings to be apart...but good memories are always in my mind, to remember the times we spent together.. thanks for being my housemates, no arguments, our house theme : "wo wo hei hei, wo hei seng qun" (和和气气，和气生存) ... miss you all so much =)

Human is stubborn!!

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.".... "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God- through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans &: 15-16,21-25)

I keep on being stubborn, I keep struggling thinking that what I'm doing now, I depend on God's strength to help me; but in reality, I use my understanding and my strength to solve problems, to make decision. Is that what God wants from me? I wonder how deep is the depth of my trust towards God.

Just like Solomon asking wisdom from God and it was granted to him (2 Chronicles 8-12), O Lord, I pray for wisdom too...that above all, You may grant me wisdom to acknowledge your ways for " Your thoughts are completely different from mine, and Your ways are far beyond anything I could imagine" (Isaiah 56:8). Who should I rely on besides you, my Creator?

Hannibal Rising

I went for a free movie last night without knowing the true story line about it. Hannibal Rising is a story of young Hannibal Lecter who lost his family during World War II and starts plotting revenge on the barbarians responsible to his sister's death. It's a thrilling story to me and I'm quite worried that I won't have a good sleep after that.

It stirs my mind on how cruel and insane one can end up to be in times of despair, famine and war. A thought comes into my mind when I was watching this movie: surely these situations will repeat when war comes as everything that happens on earth repeats itself though we may think that it's new, it's just a repetition of history. I was triggered by my thoughts. How I wish I won't live until that war time where I'll see human eating human just to survive, there is no compassion, no feelings and there are only selfish people doing whatever they want just to make sure that they survive at that moment.

Another unbelievable thing is seeing Hannibal taking revenge on those who have killed his sister for food during the war. Unforgivable heart will not only harm others but ourselves too. How crazy one can act just to take revenge and not learn to forgive others. I think it is not easy to forgive too but how God forgives us for the many wrongs that we have done everyday tells us that we should forgive others and it is up to God to judge the people. No doubt that it will take a lot of courage to do so; Without God's Word and guidance, I don't think we are able to do so.

I don't like the ending of the story where Hannibal is able to kill all those who have killed his sister yet without being caught. Maybe there's part 2 for this movie... To me, it doesn't bring any lessons to us besides 'encouraging' people to kill and take revenge and with a thought that we may not get caught in the end. It's just a movie to tell others the process of demanding pay backs from the barbarians, no scene of forgiveness and love.

I personally don't like the story for it does not draw any good intention to the audience.. what say you?

New journey

Yeah... my 3 years in uni ends soon, though I'm taking 3 papers and it takes me only 3 days to sit for my exam out of the 1 month exam period..haha... the most relaxing semester I have. It's a time to step into another phase of my life where I'm not fully prepared for it. I miss the uni life alot, spending time with friends, having flexible hours of studying, lepaking and day dreaming. I don't think I'll have this kind of life once I step into the working world... I start missing it...should I continue studying?? haha... never cross my mind for the meantime. Oh...let's cherish the remaining time I have, breathing more of uni air, have some uni food (though some of my friends may not treasure the uni food, I some sort of like it, haha).

I trust that God has a purpose in putting me in UM at the 1st place. I never regret stepping into this place, learning from people around me. I've grown alot spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I learn to be more independant. Discover the strength and weaknesses in my life that I never discover. Discover how silly and lame I can become and yet being serious when it is necessary. I know that when I look back the time I spent in uni in next few years, I'll surely thank God for the up and down moments I experienced in uni. Surely everything that happens in life is not a coinsidence but it's journey that God has prepared for me in order to continue to lead me for my next phase of life.

My uni... I'll miss you eventhough there are bad moments too. Coz He has used this place to build me up and He will continue to do so wherever I will end up to be in my future.

Have I given my best?

I think I struggle alot in lending my hands to those who need help. Many times, the desire to do what I have to is greater than to sacrifice my time and willingly help others. There are many testimonies in my life where I see my friends lending their hands to others though in small ways yet they do it out from their heart. They offer to fetch juniors who walk to uni though they are not that close with them, they care for people whom they know. I am intimidated by their action and start to ask myself whether I'm living out a good testimony for God. Maybe I think too much of myself, do I really need to think twice when helping people even in small ways? All these can only be done truthfully, automatically, out from my heart, when I understand God's word and His life on earth.

When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you? he asked them. " You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord', and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know this things, you would be blessed if you do them. (John 12:12-17)

My agony, ignorance may hinder me from really understand what God wants me to do on this earth. May He constantly remind me to humble myself, to serve and to love one another as he himself has shown when He was on earth. I pray that God may grant me a heart of compassion to love others rather than doing all these using my own strength. May He let me know that my life helps paint my neighbour's picture of God.

More like the Master I would live and grow,
More of His love to others I would show;
More self-denial, like His in Galilee,
More like the Master I long to ever be.