"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.".... "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God- through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans &: 15-16,21-25)
I keep on being stubborn, I keep struggling thinking that what I'm doing now, I depend on God's strength to help me; but in reality, I use my understanding and my strength to solve problems, to make decision. Is that what God wants from me? I wonder how deep is the depth of my trust towards God.
Just like Solomon asking wisdom from God and it was granted to him (2 Chronicles 8-12), O Lord, I pray for wisdom too...that above all, You may grant me wisdom to acknowledge your ways for " Your thoughts are completely different from mine, and Your ways are far beyond anything I could imagine" (Isaiah 56:8). Who should I rely on besides you, my Creator?
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